Trying to Help
by Ego Amorem Deum
Summary: Insight into the thoughts of Castiel and Dean regarding their relationship and the turn it took when Castiel unintentionally betrays Dean's trust via fleeing with the angel tablet after almost killing him. One shot.


Dean stared fearfully—apprehensively—at Castiel. His mind registered ghost pain, shooting through his left cheek bone and jaw; Castiel hadn't been himself when he had struck Dean. Then, the angel had looked at Dean like the inferior human he was compared to the angel's Grace. He was being controlled, wiped of empathy for his friend. Now, the Castiel that stood before him was tired and sorrowful, but sincere. Dean just couldn't bring himself to budge an inch on how he felt, though. He had been betrayed by a person he loved. He wouldn't let Sam see it, but Castiel's punches had landed on more than just his skin. And when he ran away the angel's absence wasn't just physical. It left an empty chasm in Dean's trust, a yawning cavern that just wouldn't fill in no matter how much beer or burgers he downed. The whole situation was personal—very personal.

"Dean, I am sorry. I was just trying to help." Castiel's voice was strained. Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat and shifted his sad puppy eyes back to Dean. He knew his brother wouldn't budge.

"Whatever. Just stay here," Dean growled at the angel. Then, more hesitantly, he added, "And get better."

With that, the brothers left Castiel to find room 7B.

X.X

Castiel wandered back to Dean's room, dazed. He sat heavily on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"_Just stay here. And get better."_

He knew Dean still cared about him or else he wouldn't have ventured to express concern. The hunter had even allowed the angel to take his bed for that night while he slept on a day sofa in the main room. Castiel knew that deep down Dean was hurt, but still believed in his angel. Hurt can be healed. However, it was the fear in those sad green eyes that bothered Castiel the most because fear was much harder to cure. Dean was belligerent in his emotions and could be very commanding, but it was all for the benefit of his loved ones. Dean hadn't been raised to show feelings, but out of everyone Castiel had met, Dean was the one most righteous and full of love. Love put others in front and yourself behind. Love meant making the tough choices so no one else had to. Love meant Dean would shoot anyone so Sam wouldn't have to, or go through purgatory risking his life to leviathans in order to halt an angel's maddeningly fast descent into darkness. Love meant you always stuck it through.

With it being so rare to find someone like that, it was imperative to Castiel to preserve that beauty. So it tore his heart worse than Crowley's fist in his chest to think that his protectee was afraid of his protector.

Castiel needed to find some pie, and fast.

X.X

Sam looked at Dean, concerned for his brother's state of peace. The taller Winchester's body was wearing down and if he didn't make it through the last trial…well, it would be Dean's friendships that would help him through the loss. Sam loved his brother, but hated how thick he could be at times. Here Castiel was, a good guy, who obviously loved his brother and all his brother could do was focus on the bad. He understood the hurt, he really did. There just wasn't any call for Dean to let such a good angel pass him by because in their lives holding grudges was stupid. You didn't know if your next hunt would be your last hunt and who wanted to leave the world alone and angry?

"Dean, can't you be easy on Cas? He's one of the good guys."

"Sam I've been betrayed one too many times. I can count on you. I can't count on him."

X.X

Even as the words left his mouth, Dean didn't mean them. Well, he meant them, but at the same time he didn't want to mean them. He wanted his angel to be the secure and unwavering force he needed in his life. He didn't know if he could be strong enough to carry himself, Sam and Castiel. Dean needed a break. When Castiel had punched him, almost killed him, it scared the piss out of the oldest Winchester. If he couldn't trust the angel who swore to protect him, who could he trust?

"_I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."_

_To do what?_ Dean thought to himself. _Put me back there yourself?_

_X.X_

_AN:_

**_Hey, it's been a long time since I've written something. I probably have a lot of disappointed fans and people I had promised to help. I am sorry for that. This piece sort of fits my mood for how I feel that I've let a lot of people down. I've been busy. I leave for basic training in a week. After that, I should be able to come back and write more. I miss writing on my Natsu/Lucy fic. And I just miss writing period. I hope you enjoy this piece._**

**_You can read it as a one shot. I may write more chapters exploring their relationship and speculating on their future, but as for now, I consider it complete. R&R if you see something that really gets your goat.  
_**


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